I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
