Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We had to coat check the pizza.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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