this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
