its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
