we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
