The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
