Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
