at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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