If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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