haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
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