it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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