Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
