Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
