You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
