If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
