You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Quick, to the slutcave!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
