can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
