You work out of a Hotel?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
