I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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