cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
