Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
