can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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