I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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