I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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