is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just puked most of my soul out..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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