A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
