I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
