I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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