Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
