I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
