Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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