we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize