That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
