We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
