Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
