kristin has been a bad kristin
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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