I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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