I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
