got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
