3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
