Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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