Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
