i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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