Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
