i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
