dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
