i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
