Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I touched a dick in church today
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize