btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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