I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
