That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize