I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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