Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
