So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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