i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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