Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
