I look better un-naked...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
