lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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