I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
