I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
