Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
